Let me tell you what being a lover girl really means, because the world has got it twisted.
Most people, men and women alike, have been sold the idea that a lover girl is someone who pours everything into another person. Someone who tolerates anything, sacrifices everything, and calls it love. But that's not love. That's the slow erosion of your own worth.
A real lover girl loves herself first.
She sets boundaries. She knows her limits. She understands that you can only love others as deeply as you love yourself, and when your cup is empty, you have nothing left to give. Not truly. Not freely.
Thoughtfulness Without Expectation
Here's a question I want you to sit with: if you are not thoughtful with yourself, how can you be genuinely thoughtful for others? without expectation, without strings attached?
When you do things for people, it should be because it's right. Because you want to. Not because you're waiting for something in return. That's the difference between love and transaction. Between giving and bargaining.
A lover girl gives freely. Fully. Without keeping score.
What I've Been Through
I can call myself a lover girl, because I truly love myself.
I take care of myself. I pour into everything I do with my whole heart. I consider others' feelings as well as my own. I give without expectation and want nothing back.
But I want you to know, this didn't come easy.
I have been through the ringer my whole life. Abandonment. Isolation. Overlooked at work, overlooked by family, overlooked by friends. I have been abused, emotionally, mentally and physically. According to everything the world told me about how people "turn out" after what I've been through, I shouldn't be here. And I definitely shouldn't be kind. 😂
But here's the thing about life, every betrayal is a lesson. Every moment of isolation teaches you something. Every act of abuse shows you exactly who you do not want to become. You look at the people who hurt you and you make a choice: I will not be like that. I will continue to be kind, because all I ever wanted was for someone to show me a little kindness too.
I took every piece of hurt and pain and I used it to grow. Not to get bitter, but to get better.
Paid to Exist
A lover girl is the girl who became a woman who learned to love herself through all her pain. Now she can pour into life again without emptying her cup.
That energy? That's paid to exist. It's a vibration. It's a sauce. It's an aura. It's what happens when you stop shrinking yourself for spaces that were never built for you, and start showing up as exactly, unapologetically, authentically you.
That's the lover girl. That's me. And maybe, that's you too.